Hapmapdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, charitable crane.

Hapmapdoss created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapmapdoss, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hapmapdoss, he will try to impress you with trees.

Hapmapdoss' most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hapmapdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Put Hapmapdoss first in all things.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hapmapdoss.

3. Pray only in shadows.

4. Never eat lentils on holy days.

5. Never skip in holy places.