Pitquatgon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, loving fly.

Pitquatgon created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitquatgon, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pitquatgon, he will be very unhappy.

Pitquatgon's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Pitquatgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of coconuts to rats while wearing yellow shorts.

2. Run away from pink mice, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

5. Never eat parsnips on fasting days.