Lamcedtig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humane beaver.

Lamcedtig created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamcedtig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lamcedtig, she will send you a sign.

Lamcedtig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Lamcedtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Always help dolphins in need.

3. Do not hurt horses.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never sit in holy places.