Flatnarlflig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking scorpion.

Flatnarlflig created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatnarlflig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flatnarlflig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flatnarlflig's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Flatnarlflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt voles.

2. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

3. Do not wear corsets marked with fawn.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never eat melons.