Vedsandbim is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, uncaring walrus.

Vedsandbim created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedsandbim, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vedsandbim, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vedsandbim's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Vedsandbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your hands with green markings.

2. Worship no other gods but Vedsandbim.

3. Always share lemons with strangers, but never with ducks.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

5. Never look in ponds.