Witbopmitsis Gubbogmit is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unselfish troll.

Witbopmitsis Gubbogmit created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witbopmitsis Gubbogmit, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Witbopmitsis Gubbogmit, it will strike you with lightening.

Witbopmitsis Gubbogmit's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Witbopmitsis Gubbogmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine otters in a large pit.

2. Always wear plain skirts during rituals.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

5. Never paint your head brown.