Bensafzagwik is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, duplicitous yak.

Bensafzagwik created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bensafzagwik, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bensafzagwik, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bensafzagwik's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bensafzagwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always count to five before sleeping.

5. Do not fashion tools from silicon.