Gubmidken is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unfair monkey.

Gubmidken created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubmidken, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gubmidken, she will torture you forever.

Gubmidken's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gubmidken's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at dusk.

2. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never mix spinach with blood.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.