Linyatgad Dunfutrow is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, emotional jellyfish.

Linyatgad Dunfutrow created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Linyatgad Dunfutrow, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Linyatgad Dunfutrow, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Linyatgad Dunfutrow's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Linyatgad Dunfutrow's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Linyatgad Dunfutrow.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about gravity near turtles while wearing indigo trousers and balancing eight platinum spheres on your legs.