Tonkonwot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tonkonwot created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkonwot, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tonkonwot, she will strike you with lightening.

Tonkonwot's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tonkonwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not keep five foxes in a large pit.

4. Do not prepare grapes while filled with joy.

5. Never eat turnips.