Gofkomont is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, moody wasp.

Gofkomont created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofkomont, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gofkomont, he will ignore you.

Gofkomont's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gofkomont's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Run away if three sheep approach from the north.