Dapnanveen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, happy manatee.

Dapnanveen created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapnanveen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dapnanveen, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dapnanveen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dapnanveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. You must pray to Dapnanveen seven times a day.

5. Never hurt squirrels.