Bigvennel Gomgovbap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, happy wolf.

Bigvennel Gomgovbap created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigvennel Gomgovbap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bigvennel Gomgovbap, it will remove you from existence.

Bigvennel Gomgovbap's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bigvennel Gomgovbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not name children after manatees.

4. Do not kill tapirs.

5. Never wear gray ear rings on sacred days.