Hakflap is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, pitiless finch.

Hakflap created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakflap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hakflap, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Hakflap's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Hakflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not speak about cucumbers.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always wear violet.