Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, happy cobra.

Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan eight times a day.

2. Never gather four squirrels near walls.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Do not speak about cherries.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.