Fitzagdin is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, narcissistic faun.

Fitzagdin created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitzagdin, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fitzagdin, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fitzagdin's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fitzagdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands brown.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Do not kill manatees.

4. Never feed coconuts to shrews while wearing shoes.

5. Never eat green fruit.