Nillfubfon Cadcinbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, calm lobster.

Nillfubfon Cadcinbiss created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillfubfon Cadcinbiss, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nillfubfon Cadcinbiss, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nillfubfon Cadcinbiss' most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nillfubfon Cadcinbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near manatees while wearing indigo hats and balancing six gold spheres on your face.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

3. Never jump in the presence of ants.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

5. Nillfubfon Cadcinbiss must be the most important thing in your life.