Xucnabcar is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, competent meerkat.

Xucnabcar created the Tadpole Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucnabcar, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xucnabcar, it will manifest in front of you.

Xucnabcar's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Xucnabcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always wash your face before prayer.

4. Never feed cucumbers to swans while wearing green stockings.

5. Do not speak about turnips.