Nutkamcum is a god.

She takes the form of a large, tiresome capybara.

Nutkamcum created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Nutkamcum, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nutkamcum, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nutkamcum's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Nutkamcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Never wear black rings on sacred days.

3. Never paint your legs purple.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Never talk about moths.