Venvigdud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, two-faced raccoon.

Venvigdud created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venvigdud, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Venvigdud, he will come to you in dreams.

Venvigdud's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Venvigdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to hamsters while wearing pink scarves.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.