Gunbunxen is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, overgenerous hippopotamus.

Gunbunxen created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Gunbunxen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gunbunxen, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gunbunxen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gunbunxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt ducks.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Retreat if six aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Never cross mountains at midday.

5. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.