Basslibbif is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, bad-tempered walrus.

Basslibbif created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basslibbif, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Basslibbif, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Basslibbif's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Basslibbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to ducks while wearing shorts.

2. Retreat if five gulls approach from the south.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Do not take Basslibbif's name in vain.

5. Never look at planets.