Tom is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humane gerbil.

Tom created the Sombrero Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Tom, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tom, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tom's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Tom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention badgers.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. You must pray to Tom five times a day.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never chant while facing east.