Cidgemgampagflis is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful raccoon.

Cidgemgampagflis created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cidgemgampagflis, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cidgemgampagflis, she will remove you from existence.

Cidgemgampagflis' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cidgemgampagflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

2. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.