Pangvanyok is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic wolf.

Pangvanyok created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangvanyok, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pangvanyok, she will turn you into a slug.

Pangvanyok's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Pangvanyok's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Pangvanyok must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.