Ontcusspom is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy wyrm.

Ontcusspom created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontcusspom, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontcusspom, he will manifest in front of you.

Ontcusspom's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Ontcusspom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Never mix gooseberries with oil.

3. Never fashion tools from clay.

4. Never mention sheep.

5. Never laugh near snails.