Talzedgub is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental sheep.

Talzedgub created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talzedgub, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Talzedgub, she will curse you with boils.

Talzedgub's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Talzedgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three dolphins in a large pit.

2. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

3. Never feed cherries to gulls while wearing jumpers.

4. Retreat if nine birds approach from the west.

5. Worship no other gods but Talzedgub.