Gumcudartrensomfasbatrak is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, temperamental duck.

Gumcudartrensomfasbatrak created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumcudartrensomfasbatrak, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gumcudartrensomfasbatrak, she will refuse to believe in you.

Gumcudartrensomfasbatrak's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Gumcudartrensomfasbatrak's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Always wear black.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

5. Never fashion tools from clay.