Lanfonnur is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, benevolent squid.

Lanfonnur created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanfonnur, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lanfonnur, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lanfonnur's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Lanfonnur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine monkeys in a large pit.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Shun those given to cruelty.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.