Gamtadmat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful manatee.

Gamtadmat created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Gamtadmat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gamtadmat, she will turn you into a frog.

Gamtadmat's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gamtadmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat ducks with great respect.

2. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about mice.

4. Always wash your head before prayer.

5. Never eat green fruit.