Yatqueegyim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, astonishing gorilla.

Yatqueegyim created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatqueegyim, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yatqueegyim, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yatqueegyim's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Yatqueegyim's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never mention geese.