Kadced Gebsaswan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy whale.

Kadced Gebsaswan created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadced Gebsaswan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kadced Gebsaswan, she will turn you into a dog.

Kadced Gebsaswan's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kadced Gebsaswan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must never eat rice.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.