Nillweestan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful unicorn.

Nillweestan created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillweestan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nillweestan, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nillweestan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Nillweestan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Do not consume corn at dawn.

4. Never mix gooseberries with oil.

5. Never feed lots of oranges to dogs while wearing brown shirts.