Tailweevin Jadbatbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, emotional goat.

Tailweevin Jadbatbonk created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailweevin Jadbatbonk, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tailweevin Jadbatbonk, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tailweevin Jadbatbonk's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tailweevin Jadbatbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix figs with oil.

2. Always remove coats before touching lead.

3. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

4. Tailweevin Jadbatbonk loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tailweevin Jadbatbonk.