Kiptintit is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful snake.

Kiptintit created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Kiptintit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kiptintit, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kiptintit's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kiptintit's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never hurt rats.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.