Gofvolbess is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited turtle.

Gofvolbess created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofvolbess, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gofvolbess, he will ignore you.

Gofvolbess' most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gofvolbess' Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Never feed limes to moths while wearing corsets.

5. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.