Xuckpintal is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, slow duck.

Xuckpintal created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckpintal, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xuckpintal, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Xuckpintal's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Xuckpintal's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xuckpintal.

3. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about enzymes.