Yaktikcit is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, thoughtless manatee.

Yaktikcit created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yaktikcit, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yaktikcit, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yaktikcit's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Yaktikcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

2. Never stain your chest with green.

3. Feed all hungry birds.

4. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.