Hog is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-assured wolf.

Hog created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hog, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hog, it will be very unhappy.

Hog's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Hog's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Hide if five geese approach from the west.

3. You must love Hog.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Always cleanse oil with water.