Sogmislarg is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, two-faced badger.

Sogmislarg created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogmislarg, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sogmislarg, she will jump up and down on your head.

Sogmislarg's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Sogmislarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove shorts before touching carbon.

2. Never allow seals to witness sacred rites.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.