Cenhadstan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, dishonest toad.

Cenhadstan created a strange quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cenhadstan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cenhadstan, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cenhadstan's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Cenhadstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises in need.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near great tits while wearing pink trousers and balancing four aluminium spheres on your neck.

3. Never gather nine mice in one place.

4. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.