Tettipigkom Litkarmif Nursoglop is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, generous hyena.

Tettipigkom Litkarmif Nursoglop created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettipigkom Litkarmif Nursoglop, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tettipigkom Litkarmif Nursoglop, it will refuse to believe in you.

Tettipigkom Litkarmif Nursoglop's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tettipigkom Litkarmif Nursoglop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.

4. Run away from cyan goats, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat grapes on fasting days.