Gadfedban is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, benevolent snail.

Gadfedban created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadfedban, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gadfedban, it will turn you into a rat.

Gadfedban's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gadfedban's Holy Commandments

1. Gadfedban must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about dark energy near dogs while wearing blue hats.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Never stain your head with brown.

5. Do not chop down trees.