Quatfatflamgarxinboglab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unjust manatee.

Quatfatflamgarxinboglab created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Quatfatflamgarxinboglab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quatfatflamgarxinboglab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Quatfatflamgarxinboglab's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Quatfatflamgarxinboglab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quatfatflamgarxinboglab.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wash your head before prayer.

4. Always share peas with strangers, but never with goats.

5. Do not gather at bridges at dawn.