Karpangspag is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, selfish jaguar.

Karpangspag created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Karpangspag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Karpangspag, she will turn you into a mole.

Karpangspag's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Karpangspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near shrews while wearing pink skirts and balancing six iron spheres on your chest.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never feed lots of figs to cats while wearing indigo hats.