Tofcitgil is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic wren.

Tofcitgil created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofcitgil, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tofcitgil, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tofcitgil's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tofcitgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red boots on sacred days.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not prepare wheat while filled with joy.

5. Never speak aloud of names.