Kimmipbell is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, all-powerful dryad.

Kimmipbell created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Kimmipbell, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kimmipbell, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kimmipbell's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kimmipbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the east during summer.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Worship no other gods but Kimmipbell.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.