Hogwabflab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unselfish parrot.

Hogwabflab created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogwabflab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hogwabflab, he will turn you into a tree.

Hogwabflab's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Hogwabflab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never travel toward the east during winter.

5. Never think about spacetime.