Quagmanrak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring newt.

Quagmanrak created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagmanrak, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quagmanrak, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quagmanrak's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Quagmanrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with blue.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

3. Remain kneeling during prayer.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Never look in ponds.