Lopcadhad is a god.

He takes the form of a small, conceited otter.

Lopcadhad created the Sunflower Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Lopcadhad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lopcadhad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lopcadhad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lopcadhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lopcadhad.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never wear hats.